Sunday, 22 July 2012

RD minus 5 days: Moving on and moving forward

I'm counting my days. I've already informed my specialist about my job interview. If thing goes well, I'll secure the job and then quit medicine. He asked me whether my decision is final and I said I'm not sure but deep in my heart I'm certain that I want to put an end to this never ending misery.

Seriously, even houseman are fed with misleading information. I always believed that I have to endure two years of housemanship before I had my full MMC registration. I was wrong. To get full MMC certification means I have to serve another two years in KKM. Meaning I have to serve 4 years; 2 years of housemanship and another extra two years as medical officer.

Recently I was informed of another news that MO have to tag at least 6 month in their respective department so they can be proficient in their discipline. That mean not seeing daylight for the next 6 month. You'll come at 7.00 am and go back at 10.00pm on paper. Remember, on paper. Usually one have to come earlier and go back later.

Being an MO, you'll have to follow old school working hours - passive and active call. Meaning you'll be spending 36 hours per call. Meaning less time to spend at home. Great for singles but not for married man like me. I have to fix my rooftop, change my light bulb and redo the piping and I already find it hard to get it done in my housemanship. I wonder how my life is if I ever become MO

Sometimes, the grass truly are green on the other side. You only need to take bold step across the line.

What am I going to do next after I started to work in my new job?

My new job - executive marketing manager for transaction banking division offer 2.5k - 3.0k. It's pretty low compared to what I earn now, circa RM4.4k. Then again, I have not committed myself onto any kind of loan so far. So I have decided that I'll work as executive for the next three years and further my studies on Master of Finance. I'll climb the ladder up and become one of the top manager in my division. This is my resolve.

RD minus 4 days: Moving on and moving forward

Wish me luck my friend for my new adventure

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

RD minus 9 days: Another one of those day!

Today I was supposed to go on pm shift after on call yesterday. However, someone in middle management in my department in all her wisdom decided that I have to go for some CPD thing today despite the fact that there are another series of CPD under the same topic will be held in two weeks time.

I can't believe this! I thought the "middle level" people should have at least the courtesy to spare us the much needed time of rest and rearrange the schedule for CPD at more appropriate time as in my honest opinion, CPD aren't as urgent as life and death situation.

I was later informed my fellow colleagues that the "middle level" people decided to send all of the first poster in paediatric department to this CPD, leaving senior houseman running the show. Our impression are simple - ergo, first poster are incompetent, ergo, they shouldn't be doing any ward work. Yet, how are we suppose to be competent if they kept us out of ward for silly things like CPD?

This isn't the first time this absurdity happen to us. Last week I was scolded for going to clinic for blood taking despite the fact the fact that I'm more than capable in simple task of venepuncture by the "middle man". She asked for senior houseman to do the job instead. How are we houseman are going to better ourselves if we are barred from doing the much needed hands on skill?

I had enough of this bullshit. Seriously.

My interview will be on this tuesday. I truly hope that my misery will end there.

What I ask is simple - to give us a bit more autonomy and spaces to grow. Spare us some chances to better ourselves. This kind of work culture, if not changed will eventually create incompetent, dangerous doctors. This kind of work culture will demoralize us houseman as we will be made to think that we are incapable and inept. This kind of work culture will make me look for greener pasture elsewhere.

RD minus 9 days: for better job autonomy and performance based appraisal.

Sunday, 15 July 2012

RD minus 13 days: Breaking the bad news!

I decided to write this up as I get an epiphany that quitting housemanship are not equal to quitting your life. While many had prejudged that those who quit have dark, bleak future as our degree are pretty much useless out there if we were to use it to apply for other profession, I've heard many news about "quitter's" success.

5 years in medical school. They taught us about breaking bad news and greatly emphasize about it on yearly basis. They even put it up on OSCE to assess our ability in breaking bad news!

Yet nothing compare to this anxiety that came along with this question - how do you break bad news to your parent that wish so hard that you became doctor, that you are tormented, tortured and needing relieve so badly? How do you break the news that you already had other option which is more rewarding in the future while sacrificing your current job, trading good pay with good life?

In view of this issue, my wife and I have decided that we'll tell no one, except my mother and my grandmother who are cool-headed and able to process the idea well. I have decided to let  them know by themselves in few coming months/ years while swallowing the fact I'm happier with my new job instead of being a doctor

I submitted my resume last week. They have promised me that they call me within two week time for my interview. I'm certain that I have secured myself a position as they need staff so badly and I was informed that I'll be handling KKM's portfolio as I have a special set of skill. Let see how I fare in two weeks time!

RD minus 13 days and counting

Wish me luck, my dearest friend!


Introduction of an end

Hi mate,
I'm certain that I wasn't the first one. There are plenty out there who opted for the option that I've yet to daringly choose. However, this is the option that I have - quitting housemanship.

Everyday I woke up I reflected upon myself, seeing what's coming on daily basis and what had happen yesterday. The regular bowl of scolding served countless time daily for me have blunted me emotionally, turning a jovial, happy man into a timid individual who seems to get agitated, anxious on just about everything. Everyday I wonder what happened yesterday, to know what went wrong the day before.

I read about an adventure of an ex-colleague of mine at
and how he boldly decided to march towards freedom and into unknown world now doing very well for himself. I envy him for his courage. I wish to do the same but I'm married. If I were to break through this barricade of sorrow, I need to know that I have secured another regular bowl to feed me and my family.

What is it that I hate about my job? The long hours? No, it's not the hours. As much as I despise working through the long hours on sunday and saturday, I never went AWOL or take EL. I came on time and get back late. Is it the scolding? Maybe, but it's part of the work. What is wrong with this "honorable" occupation that made me decide to end my journey on this path? I guess it's the culture that I'm working with. The mini boss I have to serve have different want and need while constantly changing his/her mind on a particular way of doing thing which in return causing me difficulty to adapt. The other part - the worse part, is the save ass attitude. My view that doctor-ship are based on teamwork were crushed and turned quickly into dust as soon as reality take places. Everyone are busy trying to save their assess with the so called "documentation". The worst of all - "favoritism". No matter how hard you work, those who became favorite will "perform" and get through the so called posting, though he can't insert a branula or took one hour to clerk one case or unable to made clinical different between 5% dehydration or not.

I know despite hard work and grit that I put to make through to this posting, undoubtedly extension will be rewarded to me. So I decided

Thanks to a dear colleague of mine, Mr Sham, I decided to venture into new world, where performance a clearly rated and your job scope are more defined. I'm waiting for his "company" to call me for interview. I know I'm trading good pay with good life. I hope I get this job. I really do. Pray for me.

I'm counting my day.......for Resignation Day

RD minus 14 days and counting.

ex-Branula thing